well hello there.

i think i just messed up the worst i ever have
and i’m pretty sure we’ll go our separate paths
i wish i knew how i could fix my mistake
and do it fast, i just felt my heart break.

i hate that i did this, and i can’t ever go back
and now i’ve left everything tied down to the track
i know i can’t tell you “i didn’t know this would happen”
because that sends our chances right down to a fraction.

honestly, you mean more than anyone else
and we don’t even have memories to leave on the shelf
there was something in our late talks at night
that gave me a reason to put up with the light.

you know all my secrets, but this one’s the best
“i’m sorry, i miss you…” you know all the rest
so please will you listen to what i can’t say
you’ve done it before, but now you won’t stay.

I almost gave you everything I had

I know now, that would have ended bad

You know the place between laughter and tears?

I’ll keep you there for a million more years.

Did you really see me the way you said?

Or was I just something you wanted in bed?

You said you wanted to be more than just this

You told me that between every kiss

What would have happened if we went one step more?

I don’t know if I could have walked out that door…

I loved the way you held me that tight

And showed me I was everything, that night

But now is it over, what have we to show?

But I’m scared to call, so we may never know

You meant more than just those few bruises

So tell me the truth, I want no excuses

I liked the way your lips felt on mine

I loved the way we were way out of line

I like the way I have our secret to tell

Please tell me the truth, still darling I fell.

Remember that night

As I lied in your arms

Your smile and your eyes

Made me feel warm.

Remember that time

When I cried on your shoulder

I know then I realized

It’s tough getting older.

Remember that rooftop

Where we shared that sweet kiss

Then we got caught by the cops

Those laughs I’ll always miss.

Remember that day

We got in that fight

And I sat alone

For a million more nights.

Remember that day

When you lowered your head

And you walked away

No words had I said.

Are you reading these lines

Remembering me

Or are you just a lone face

That I see when I sleep?

I’m just a girl with a bow in her hair

Waiting and wanting the warm summer air

Watching as choices all turn out wrong

And turn into lessons I knew all along.

Watching my mistake play out in my head

I should have quit while I was ahead

A sweet little smile concealed all the lies

I knew someday you’d see through my disguise.

Although you say you have moved past it all

I’m scared you’ll just stand and watch as I fall

You don’t have to swear, or promise we’re friends

Just tell me the truth, are you here ‘til the end?

I took out my bow, let my curls fall down

Summer is here with its warmth all around

Still watching my choices all turn out wrong

And turn into lessons I knew all along.

You never came to me to say goodbye

I hope I wasn’t just to burn time

You never saw the look in my eyes

But who cares?  Don’t worry.  I’m fine.

I hope when you hear last summer’s song

It hurts you too much to sing along

We sang that song out by the street

Where we ran to the store in our bare feet.

I still remember you cute little smile

It made me wish you could stay for a while

I’m sorry that we got in that fight

And just so you know, I missed you that night.

Now I know that you’re miles away

I promise to never forget those days

Maybe someday I’ll see you again

And we’ll share a smile as more than friends.

I’m sorry I act before I think

I’m sorry I threw it all down the sink

I’m sorry I’m not the one you held in your arms

I’m sorry I’m lying in this song.

My memories all point me to a simple place

Where all of this isn’t empty space

Before I grew too strong for bonds

Before I lied in this simple song.

You watched me break every single rule

You watched me cry as I came home from school

You watched me lock my feelings inside

You watched me lie in this quiet song.

Innocent smiles are all I’ve shown

But there comes a point when I’m all alone

There comes a point when my powers will fade

There comes a point, that lies in this song.

I never want to hear “I’m sorry”

I only want to know the truth

What are you thinking when you see me cry?

Because I won’t lie in another song.

You don’t remember who I am

Yet on a shelf your dolls still stand

You don’t understand what you say

But it breaks my heart anyways.

You hear my music and you smile

The piano plays, relax for a while

I’ve heard every story of your pain

Of all the days you worked in vain.

You close your eyes in a dream

Of Poppo fishing in a stream

You worry about the weirdest things

Your fingers carry seven rings.

Your rubber bands may not be designer

But in your mind there’s nothing finer

You may not always tell the truth

When you tell my stories of your youth.

Though we can’t mend your broken thoughts

We can make you less distraught

As your childish memories fade away

We hope your last is a golden ray.

r.i.p Ellen Miller [nanny].

I watch her lay in her hospital bed

In her own little world inside her head

We all sit and hold her hand

Knowing every breath might be her last.

She knows no time, she feels no pain

She’s close to the end, her strength has waned

She is at peace with everything

We hope she soon will get her wings.

Her hour of silence will last forever

And one little kiss may mean the world

In her life she has taught

All of us to never give up, never fold.

She saw beauty in the smallest things

While in her pain her heart still sings

So  soon she’ll sleep and not wake up

As she refuses yet one more cup.

We thought we’d last forever and a day

We thought our love wouldn’t fade away.

I always loved to see you smile

I always wished you’d stayed for a while.

Last night I thought of your light blue eyes

It reminded me of the cloudless skies.

We sat together in the shade

And watched the sunset as palm trees swayed.